


Hurt

by SuperComsAndEggos



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Post Season 1, Song fic, its a good song though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 16:46:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9830345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperComsAndEggos/pseuds/SuperComsAndEggos
Summary: While trapped in the Upside Down, El reflects on herself as she attempts to survive another day. A song fic.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just something I came up with after listening to some tunes. The song in this fic is Hurt by Johnny Cash.

   El struggled to open her heavy, bloodshot eyes. Sitting up, she adjusted her vision to the blue and black atmosphere that always surrounded her. How long had she been here? Hours, days, weeks? She didn't know anymore, all she knew was that she had to get food. There was always special spot among a unique pile of muck and vines where eggos would appear. Digging her broken nails into the bark of a tree, she managed to get herself up from the spot where she had recently passed out.

_ I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. _

   Eggos were good. They gave her strength and energy to keep moving. Sometimes there would be other types of food and even something to drink, but the golden, crispy waffles were El’s number one food source. And perhaps, she thought to herself, if she were to gather enough energy, she could create another opening and escape this hell.

_ I focus on the pain; the only thing that's real. _

   As she had figured, the waffles were there along with a small bottle of water. She ate and drank quietly, trying to ignore the throbbing pain inside her head. After she finished her meal, she focused her sights on a large pine tree. Narrowing her eyes and stretching her arm out, the bark on the tree began to splinter and chip away. Letting out an echoing scream, she felt the dripping coming from her nostrils and ears. She started to feel light headed and knew if she didn't stop now, it would take a toll on her.

_ The needle tears a hole; the old familiar sting. _

   She crumpled to the ground, gasping and coughing. She thought she had adapted to this toxic environment, but the floating white spores seemed to follow her everywhere. Another failed attempt, and El retreated back to her hideout, frustrated.

   As she sat in her somewhat secure fortress, El wiped the blood off her nose and ears on Hopper’s flannel. That portal was her only chance. Her chance to return home, to return to her friends, to return to Mike.

_ Try to kill it all away, but I remember everything.  _

_    What have I become? My sweetest friend. _

__ The only way she could visit Mike was in her dreams. Thinking of him, his comforting smile and encouraging words helped her sleep better. But most nights, they ended in tears. That week in November had been the best and worst week in her short life. She had met a group of people she learned to call friends, but it ended just as it started, and she was separated from the world once again.

_ Everyone I know goes away in the end. _

_ And you could have it all; my empire of dirt. _

_ I will let you down, I will make you hurt. _

__ Sometimes she didn't want to think about Mike. The last time she ever saw him, he was in tears. The last time she ever heard him, he was yelling her name in despair. She tried to focus on the good thoughts, but they often redirected her back to the bad ones.

_ I wear this crown of thorns, upon my liar’s chair. _

_    Full of broken thoughts, I cannot repair. _

_    Beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear. _

_    You are someone else, I am still right here. _

   She wondered where Mike was at this moment. Was he looking for her? Was he at home, in the basement? Was he angry with her for saying goodbye, for breaking the promise? Could he be the one sending her the eggos? El had many questions racing through her mind, and she wouldn't get an answer for any of them as long as she was stuck in this dimension. Wherever he was, she wished he was safe.

_ What have I become? My sweetest friend. _

_ Everyone I know goes away in the end. _

_ And you could have it all; my empire of dirt. _

_ I will let you down, I will make you hurt. _

   El often pondered on what would've happened if she had disobeyed her Papa and strayed away from the monster instead of making contact with it. Perhaps she would still be locked away in the lab, isolated from Hawkins. If she could still escape, would she still have met the boys and everyone else? She figured the bad men would still come after her, but with no Demogorgon to separate them, maybe she would still be with her friends. She curled up in a ball, trying to conserve her body heat, and thought of what could have been as she closed her eyes and tried to sleep.

_ If I could start again, a million miles away, _

_ I would keep myself, I would find a way. _


End file.
